nothing is certain

in life we come to have expectations of what will come to be if we follow a certain course.

but when it comes down to it, we don't really have control over how something turns out.

and so it is with this vision, this dream that was given to me. it is far to early to divulge anything about it, but this: that i hold it with open hands.

because if i actually follow this vision, my life is emptied, my desires or what i thought would be my desires are forsaken. i no longer will aspire to become what i once thought would bring me joy. and so my life must be filled - with Christ.

and maybe that's exactly why this vision has been given to me.

and maybe that's exactly why i must still pray and fast about it.